Wild Night in Vegas
by Isabel Juno
Summary: There's a halloween party and even Ecklie's going! Lots of strange humor and evil Ecklie aimed jokes, drag queens, a wedding and PIE!.... GCR, SANDLE, HodgesOC, EcklieOC.
1. Come Into My Lobby Please Do!

Author: Isabel Juno

Story: Wild Night in Vegas

spoilers/ Disclaimers/ authors notes: no spoilers, I only own CSI in my dreams, idea for story came from myself, Byte366, and Mj0621.

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Wild Night in Vegas

Conrad Ecklie groaned and mumbled into the phone. His head was resting on his desk and his left hand was gripping a scotch while the right held his desk phone. He was silently cursed his secretary for putting this call through. Gil Grissom stood leaning against the doorframe trying not to enjoy Ecklie's obvious misery too much.

"Yes'm." Muttered Ecklie sounding completely defeated. There was a slight screeching noise over the phone that Gil could hear from the door and that made him half jump out of his skin. Ecklie didn't seem phased.

"I said yes ma'am. Bye. Love you too." The last three words sounded both false and very forced. Gil struggled not to laugh. He'd already failed at not smiling.

"Good morning Conrad." Ecklie's head snapped up in surprise. Gil was taken aback by the miserable look on Ecklie's face. As much as Gil enjoyed Conrad's misery this was almost making him feel bad for Ecklie. Almost.

"So…" Muttered Gil. He now felt uncomfortable.

"Umm… do we have any last minute orders about the Halloween party? My team won't leave me alone about it." Conrad stared at Grissom as if seeing him for the first time.

"Huh?" Conrad blinked and seemed to pull himself together a little bit. "Umm. No nothing new."

"Ok."

"Grissom?"

"What Conrad? Did I forget another meeting? I'm sure if I did I've already been chewed out for it a dozen times." Ecklie looked uncomfortable and Gil privately reveled in it.

"Look I was wondering. You've never been married. How the hell did you keep your mother from ragging on you about it." Gil just stared at Conrad trying to tell if he was serious. Gil frowned and pieced together what was going on. He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment before answering.

"I've never had to worry about it. She can't use the phone to call me at work and yell at me about it. She's deaf. Why? Does your mother want little pointed headed asshole grandchildren?" Ecklie ignored the jab and walked out of his office.

"What? No retort?" Gil seemed stunned by this. Ecklie turned back to smirk at him.

"You're leaning in my retort." With that he turned and walked away. He smirked as he heard Grissom say "Shit!" as he discovered that Ecklie's doorframe had just been painted and that he now had a line of black paint running down his side.

Grissom continued swearing about the paint the entire way down to the break room where he received a questioning look from Catherine as Warrick and Nick quickly stifled their laughs. Gil ignored the giggles and smirks and gave Catherine a don't ask look in return. She smirked and merely stared at him with a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. Sara looked almost bored with the entire thing though she did look amused. She just wanted her assignment. Greg struggled to keep a straight face which proved to be such an effort that his entire face, ears, and neck turned lobster red. He ended up falling out of his chair and he stayed on the floor shaking with silent laughter while Gil threw the chair where Greg had been sitting a nasty look. Jim simply smiled enjoying the show. Gil looked sourly around him and sighed.

"Well if you're all busy enjoying my misfortune I guess you don't need to know about the party then." He said smugly. Everybody immediately sobered up and pulled on straight faces except for Greg who was still silently laughing and now he was laughing so hard he was crying and he'd stuffed his fist in his mouth to stifle any noise he might make. He was curled up on the floor shaking with laughter and Sara was struggling not to giggle at the sight of the hapless lab rat. Grissom ignored the fact that Greg was still not in sight and informed them that the party was still set for the following night at 7 pm. He turned to leave when Warrick interrupted him.

"What about our assignments?" Gil turned to give him an evil look.

"Well there's a B&E out near Summerlin but I think Cath and I can handle it. You guys get to do the paperwork that I've been avoiding like the plague." Gil reveled in the horrified looks and noticed that the chair Greg had been sitting in stopped shaking as Greg stopped laughing.

Catherine darted out of the room to get her kit and to avoid the murderous looks from her fellow CSI's. She wondered why Gil had picked her and her stomach did a happy little flip that she wouldn't be doing paperwork and more importantly that he had picked her. She practically floated down the hall towards Gil's office with her kit. She quite literally ran into Gil as he was coming out of his office. Both of their kits fell to the floor and she almost did too but Gil caught her quickly. Their faces were barely an inch apart and she felt sure Gil could feel the furious pounding of her heart as her chest pressed into his. Gil released her, his face burning as he began to blush. Catherine tried to calm down and fought the heat creeping into her face. She was so distracted by this she didn't notice Gil was looking very nervous and that his ears were roughly the same color of strawberries. Gil cursed himself silently and quickly bent to pick up the scattered contents of the two kits; Catherine knelt and helped. The two of them quickly restored the swabs, luminal, print brushes, etc. back into their respective cases.

"Hey take the kits to your Tahoe and I'll get the paperwork for the others." Gil instructed in a would-be-casual voice. Catherine nodded and then smirked mischievously.

"You should probably change too." Before Gil could glare or comment Catherine snatched his kit case and strode towards the parking lot. Gil just stared cursing Ecklie and his doorway. He hadn't noticed Catherine blushing and he hadn't noticed that she seemed embarrassed, he was too embarrassed himself. He mentally scolded himself as he walked down the hall so lost in his musings that at first he walked right past the break room. He stopped blinked and doubled back entering the room where his dejected team sat staring daggers at him. Greg lay on the couch and Gil had a fleeting mental image of Greg on a therapist's couch discussing his inner demons and how the Beatles White album spoke to him and told him to do things. Greg stared blankly at the ceiling completely missing Grissom's smirk at him. Gil dropped the stack of paperwork on the table and Nick just stared at him.

"Holy Hannah! When was the last time you actually did your paperwork?" Moaned a dejected Warrick. Sara was just smacking her head on the table in disbelief. Jim sat staring in shock at the enormous pile over his cup of tea. Greg glanced over gave a disgruntled moan and rolled over to face the back of the couch. Nick just stared looking like he wanted to cry and scream at the same time.

"Umm... when was the last presidential election?" Everyone stared except Greg who was still facing the couch.

"Two years ago." Said Jim flatly. Grissom smiled evilly.

"About a week before Thanksgiving of that year." Stares. "Enjoy." Grissom said struggling not to laugh as he waltzed out of the room. He heard Nick burst out in hysterical laughter. Jim rushed after Gil.

"I'm gonna come the scene with you guys. I'm not getting suckered into doing two years worth of paperwork." Gil laughed and shook his head.

"Not two years."

"Oh good God, how many years?" Asked Jim looking like he didn't really want to know. Grissom smirked.

"About 1/6." Jim stared.

"That massive pile is only two months?" He couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. Two months of paperwork and my taxes." Gil noticed Jim's raised eyebrow. "I hate doing my taxes." Jim stopped walking and stared in disbelief. Gil kept walking and after a moment Jim caught up.

"Tell me you're kidding." Jim said.

"I'm kidding." Jim had no clue if Gil was joking or was only saying that. He decided to let the matter drop.

Catherine wanted to kill Gil. She was freezing and she'd only been in the rain for the two minutes it had taken her to run from the lab to her Tahoe, stash the kits in the back, rip open the driver's side door and dive in the Tahoe. Yet she was completely soaked and shaking. She had started the engine and turned on the heat. She hated rain when it was freezing cold. She saw two figures making a mad dash for her car. Gil reached the car first and glared at her until she unlocked the door. Jim practically slammed into the back seat door opening it a second before collision. Catherine had been smarter than Gil, who cut a miserable figure as his hair was dripping into his eyes and he had forgotten a coat.

"Ya know I was going to pull up by the door." They both glared at her. She smirked, momentarily forgetting the fact she was drenched. She pulled the Tahoe into the Vegas traffic which was far more insane than usual. Catherine thought that when it rained all the maniacs decided to go for a drive and that everyone else lost their brains. There were certainly more accidents when it rained. Man did it take forever to get anywhere during rain. At least its not snow, Catherine thought. She glanced over at the surly and soggy Gil, noticing that he still had a line of black paint down his side. She sighed shaking her head and turned north onto the strip.

The bright neon lights blurred and distorted through the torrential sheets of rain on the windows. Gil found himself staring at them absently. He was shivering but the heat was on and he was just starting to dry off when they reached the 7-11 that was splat next to a dingy restaurant that looked about as welcoming as the gates of hell. Gil sighed resignedly and wearily opened the door bidding warmth goodbye. He observed his surroundings and laughed softly. His laughter was lost in the noise of the rain and it was only his bemused look that caught Catherine's attention. She was standing by him holding both their kits. She followed his gaze and realized why he was bemused. He had to yell over the downpour to be heard.

"Two Starbucks right across the street from each other. Its more common than you think." They looked at each other smiling at this. Neither knew why it was funny. It just seemed amusing. Jim was making motions demanding them to go inside. He looked about as happy as a soggy cat and probably a bit wetter. The gas station looked more disgusting than the inside of a Tupperware container of two week old stuff that was, in a former life, shredded beef tacos; the inside proved to be far worse. The fluorescent lights overhead flickered and cast a surreal tint to the dingy gas station. The floors were covered in a thick layer of filth that clung to the bottoms of Grissom's black shoes and made him wonder when the last time anybody gave a damn about health regulations was. It was like the most rank Waffle House in Ohio or the filthiest toilet in Scotland. The second comparison made him remember he needed to make Catherine watch Trainspotting soon before he forgot again and then an interesting cockroach on the floor made him promptly forget again.

Catherine scrunched her nose at the smell of Marlboro's, stale donuts, and gasoline. She vaguely remembered a job she'd had as a kid working in a 7-11 and she didn't remember them being this horrific. She pushed the smell to the back of her mind and took in the scene and took out her notebook and pencil. She absorbed her surroundings, the broken cash register, the scattered packages of cigarettes, the cherry Gatorade bottle on the floor, the V8 that had split open and pooled around a few discarded cigarette butts and the remains of the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray, Gil crouched and poking at a cockroach with a pencil like a curious 5 year old. She sighed; sometimes Gil did odd little things that made her want to laugh. She watched him herd the cockroach with the eraser and when she decided he'd had enough fun she poked his shoulder. He jumped slightly and looked up then quickly looked down to see his new friend was halfway across the decrepit floor, Gil frowned.

"Sorry you lost your little friend." She said flatly. Gil's frown deepened.

"That tends to happen a lot." She wasn't sure what he meant but decided not to press it. Gil often said strange things that made very little, if any, sense to her; it was this in part that made her so interested in him. He sighed looking forlornly around him.

"So… do you want to get a sketch of the layout?" He asked in a close to business like tone. She nodded silently getting out her sketch pad and pencil studying the layout while Gil began photographing the scene and Jim studied the various stains on the walls and ceiling.

Warrick had fallen asleep, Greg was attempting to balance a pencil on the tip of his nose, Nick was smacking his head on the table repeatedly, and Sara had sat staring at a page on TPS reports for so long that it had all blurred into a distorted blob and she felt cross-eyed.

"Whose bright idea were TPS reports?" asked Nick suddenly. Sara blinked and looked at him.

"No clue but I wish to hurt them." Greg informed them, still trying to balance his pencil. Nick looked at him for a second.

"Greg you haven't been filling those all out in pencil have you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They have to be filled out in black pen and in triplicate." The pencil fell off Greg's nose.

"…" Greg looked positively miserable and disheartened. Sara thought that this was all ridiculous; this was Grissom's job not theirs. Greg looked to be on the verge of hysterics and Nick looked like he wanted to give a weary laugh. Grissom and Catherine came in and dropped into the two empty chairs. Grissom slammed a case file down hard on the table making Warrick wake with a start and fall backwards out of his chair. Grissom raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going on paperwork strike." moaned Greg as he searched for his pencil. Grissom raised his eyebrows.

"You do know that's how I ended up with all of this to do." He informed them in his normal Grissom-like manner. Nick raised his head a fraction of an inch off of the table.

"What do you do when you get hounded for the TPS reports?" He mumbled before dropping his head back onto the desk with a soft thunk. Grissom grinned.

"I go and buy several energy drinks and then sit down on my floor and spread out the paperwork after calling out for pizza and recruiting Catherine to help.

"The reason I have very little social life and Gil has no social life is because of those damnable TPS reports!" declared Catherine angrily. The team laughed half-heartedly and looked at the clock.

"Half an hour until end of shift." Mumbled Warrick irritably as he picked up his chair and his frame.

"You guys can take off early if you like." Said Grissom charitably. They all glanced gratefully at him and almost all of them double-timed their way down to the locker room.

"Hey Cath." Called Grissom's voice as Catherine tried to duck out.

"Am I being recruited to help you finish the paperwork?"

"No, I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Oh, ok shoot."

"Umm… do you want to go to the party with me?"

"What? Like a date?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"Well would it or would it not be a date?" She asked impatiently. Grissom shifted uncomfortably.

"Ok. Yes. It would be a date." He looked petrified. "If that's ok of course. I mean if you don't want it to be…" he trailed off glancing nervously at Catherine. She laughed and nodded.

"A date it is." She said warmly. Grissom looked like he'd won the lottery. He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"So what are you going as?" He asked her giving her his sly look she loved so much. She smiled and shook her head.

"You get to find out tonight. Can you pick me up at 6:30?" She asked savoring his crestfallen look as she refused to tell him what she was dressing up as. He nodded with a downcast sigh. She smirked and patted his arm.

"See you tonight then." She said as she sauntered down the hall deliberately swaying her hips a little more than was necessary. Gil cursed to himself in a low voice; he'd managed to act like a complete idiot. Well that was nothing new where Catherine was concerned.

Gil glanced in his rearview mirror as he pulled up in Catherine's drive way. He wasn't really fond of his costume. He decided to yell at Greg for suggesting to the male grave shift CSI's that they go with a theme for their costumes. He had to suggest classical Rome. Gil didn't really like the toga. He felt rather naked. He sighed and opened his door, hoping to God that Catherine wouldn't laugh at him. He took a deep breath and rapped sharply on the door. Catherine opened it and as Gil's eyes drank in her and her costume his jaw dropped sharply.

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	2. Gallantly We Go

Authors Notes/disclaimers/etc. : i don't own CSI or True by Ryan Cabrera... and i'm pretty sure i don't own ancient rome... i got in on the auction a little late... erm... o yeah READ & REVIEW!

Gallantly We Go

Catherine moved with a laugh to shut Gil's mouth gently. She looked him up and down with an odd little smile.

"Nice toga."

"I'm going to kill Greg."

"Why? Was the toga his idea? If so you may want to dispel any ideas…" Gil decided to cut Catherine off there.

"The guys decided to go with time themed costumes. Unfortunately I walked in while they were arguing about what time period to go with and they asked me without telling me what was going on. Me being me, I said ancient Rome." Grissom shook his head ruefully then cast a sharp eye towards her.

"So did all the women dress up like that?" For his question he received a smack in the arm. "I'm being serious!" He followed Catherine who was making her way to his Tahoe. "I mean if they did I'm going to get a camera." She wheeled around and poked him in the stomach. He blinked and grabbed his stomach yelping in indignation. Catherine wheeled away apparently satisfied stopping when she heard Gil sniggering. She harrumphed and clambered into the passenger seat as Gil struggling to hold a straight face got behind the wheel and turned the ignition. This was going to be the best party the lab had ever had.

As they walked into the lab, arm in arm, Greg ambushed them with a camera.

"I can't believe you actually dressed up." Mumbled Jim who was dressed in the simple clothes of a roman peasant. Gil shrugged as Jim stared at Catherine in disbelief.

"Wow." Was all Jim could manage. Catherine gave a shrug and smiled. Greg grinned cheekily and decided to voice his opinion.

"Catherine you look stunning!" He gushed cheerfully, "You should wear that more often!" At this point Catherine decided to glare as the lab rat darted off giggling like a chipmunk. Gil was smirking and shaking his head as he and his two best friends followed the excitable lab rat towards the party.

The rest of the team was gathered near the fruit punch and Cath and Gil were informed that prior to the party Nick and Greg had "accidentally" spilled an entire bottle of Bacardi Raspberry Rum into it along with something else they refused to reveal the name of. Gil suspected, given the current state of everybody drinking punch, that they had dumped a bottle of antihistamines in the punch. Gil knew from personal experience in college that those would make you very mellow if taken in the correct amount, he rather liked it and that being the case he eagerly partook in the punch. Catherine accepted a cup hesitantly and watching disbelievingly as Gil drank his entire cup in one go. She took in the other costumes with some amusement. Gil hadn't been kidding about the guys going in roman get-up. Warrick and Nick were both dressed up as roman centurions red capes, skirts, gold armor, crazy helmets that made them look like roosters and all. Greg had dressed up in the elaborate toga of a roman senator but the part of his chest that was visible revealed a tattoo that would definitely leave some people wondering how insane Greg was. The rainbow and prism from the cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album was forever immortalized on two square inches of Greg's chest. Sara seemed to have chosen a costume at random, the Cleopatra costume was a soft white cotton thing and actually looked pretty good on her, accentuating her figure and drawing Greg's attention every two seconds. Catherine almost died and puked at the sight of Conrad Ecklie, he had decided to go as Barney, the big problem was… his costume was too small… in places… disturbing places.

Catherine caught sight of Hodges and quickly downed her punch deciding that the "special ingredients" were going to be needed for the rest of the night. The white Marilyn Monroe dress showed off the fact that David Hodges had very thin legs and he had even shaved them. The wig added to the dress, heels, and fake breasts combined to make Hodges look like a very ugly Marilyn Monroe. As Hodges walked over to them Catherine realized he'd even put on lipstick and mascara.

"Hi Catherine."

"Hey Hodges, how are the heels?"

"Murder." With that the two launched into a friendly conversation about heels. It turned out that Hodges like going to drag shows and that it was a hobby he'd began as a kid. He'd even brought one of his drag queen friends to the party. He pointed Ronnie/Rhonda out, though there was hardly any need to. Ronnie/Rhonda was at least six foot five and was wearing a silver pencil dress with a lime green silk scarf draped around his bare shoulders. The fake breasts he wore looked almost part of him and he certainly pulled of the make up and wig better than Hodges did.

"Would you believe he's actually a teacher?" Hodges seemed jealous of his friend's ability to pull of drag so casually.

"Holy Hannah." Muttered Gil making Catherine jump, she hadn't realized he was standing right behind her. Hodges looked at Gil in surprise; he didn't seem to have notice Grissom either.

"Is that Ronnie Duvaulle?" Asked Gil looking at a stunned Hodges who nodded.

"You know him?" Inquired Hodges. Gil nodded with an appearance of borderline amusement.

"Yeah… we were friends in high school." He waved over to Ronnie/Rhonda who came over and gave Gil an awkward hug. He was too much taller than Gil and the constricting dress did nothing to help.

"GIL! I haven't seen you in ages!" Ronnie/Rhonda's voice was surprisingly high. Gil nodded.

"So what have you been up to you old queen?" Catherine wondered how much more shock she was going to go through that night. Gil and Ronnie/Rhonda spent the next half hour telling stories to Catherine and Hodges who both seemed shocked Gil and Ronnie/Rhonda knew each other.

"And that is why Gil is scared of monkeys." Finished Ronnie/Rhonda triumphantly. Gil looked embarrassed. Catherine and Hodges both looked stunned and Greg and Sara who had wandered into the conversation a bit late looked bewildered.

"Wow." That was all that Catherine could manage. A tune started up that she liked and she grinned evilly at Gil who caught her intention and opened his mouth to protest failing miserably as Catherine dragged him out to the dance floor.

_I wont talk  
I wont breathe  
I wont move till you finally see  
That you belong with me_

Catherine rested her head on Gil's chest and he breathed in the freesia scent of her hair. His hands were wrapped around her waist holding her to him. Across the room Gil caught sight of Nick and Warrick trying to outdo each other schmoozing up one of the new lab techs on day shift. She looked amused at the attention. He turned his attention back to the beautiful woman in his arms and wondered whether or not to risk what he wanted to do.

_You might think I don't look  
But deep inside the corner of my mind  
I'm attached to you  
I'm weak  
It's true  
Cause I'm afraid to know the answers  
Do you want me too?  
Cause my heart keeps falling faster_

He listened to the words and for some weird reason they gave him the strength. He moved his hand and tilted her face up to look her in the eyes. Across the room Sara watched this darkly.

"Hey Greg can you get me some punch?"

"Anything for my queen." He said gently giving her a warm smile that showed her he didn't mean it as a joke. She glanced back at Grissom and Catherine deciding it was time to move on.

_I've waited all my life  
To cross this line  
To the only thing that's true  
So I will not hide  
Its time to try  
Anything to be with you  
All my life I've waited  
This is true_

Gil and Cath looked into each others eyes; each trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Ronnie/Rhonda caught sight of Bobby from ballistics and wandered over to him with a seductive smile.

_You don't know what you do  
Every time you walk into the room  
I'm afraid to move  
I'm weak  
It's true  
I'm just scared to know the ending  
Do you see me too?  
Do you even know you met me?_

Sara accepted the punch sipping it and thinking about how to approach moving on and forgetting Grissom. Greg made decision for her taking the cup gently and pulling her onto the dance floor. She smiled and kissed him quickly. Greg blinked and took full advantage of this by kissing her in return.

_I've waited all my life to cross this line  
To the only thing that's true  
So I will not hide  
Its time to try anything to be with you  
All my life I've waited_

_This is true_

Gil kissed Cath gently, one hand cupping her cheek, the other hugging her body too him. She kissed him back passionately; her arms entwined around his neck one hand roving through his hair pulling him down towards her. Ecklie rolled his eyes at the scenes around him. Warrick and Nick were near the point of alcohol poisoning, the lab tech they were talking to looked thoroughly amused and rather inebriated herself and was shamelessly flirting with Archie, who seemed to be enjoying it, Grissom and Catherine were making out on the dance floor and they weren't the only ones, Sara and Greg seemed to have lost their minds as they were nearing the exit kissing furiously bumping into people as they went; Sara's legs were locked around Greg's waist and her arms were lost in his brand new Caesar cut hair. His arms were currently busy, one in the small of her back and the other groping for the door. Hodges' tall friend was nowhere to be seen and Bobby the ballistics guy was missing too. Ecklie then caught sight of somebody he desperately wanted to avoid as he darted behind the nearest door he ran into Ronnie/Rhonda, who he only knew as Rhonda, and a rather flustered Bobby who nodded to him and smiled to Ronnie/Rhonda as he left. Conrad glanced towards the bane of his existence and made a quick decision.

"Hey Rhonda want to dance?" Ronnie/Rhonda looked startled but nodded in acceptance. Conrad led him/her out onto the dance floor as the next song started up and the whole lab learned that Conrad Ecklie knew how to dance… and half of it almost died laughing.

Archie leaned over to the lab tech he was flirting with and muttered.

"There is nothing funnier than Conrad Ecklie dancing with a drag queen to Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch"." The lab tech nodded and burst out giggling followed by Archie as they left for whomever's apartment was closer.

Conrad, for his part, was desperate not to be spotted by the bane of his existence and this was made all the more difficult by the fact half the lab was staring at him. The other half was too drunk to know what was going on, passed out, or otherwise preoccupied. He hoped that maybe she wouldn't see him.

"CONRAD MERIWETHER ECKLIE!" His hopes died. There was a chorus of snickers that went around the room. Mumblings of "Meriwether?" and "who is she?" were passed like gossip about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as Conrad Ecklie's mother stormed towards him.

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	3. ∏ equals three point onefour

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∏ 3.14

Greg and Sara lay breathing heavily, their bodies twisted and tangled in the beige sheets. Greg's place had been closer to the lab. They'd barely made it in the door and their clothes made a Hansel and Gretel trail from the door to the bedroom. Definitely over Grissom, thought Sara. Greg shifted to look her in the eye, his hair was even messier than usual. He gave one of his trademark goofy grins and she smiled back.

"Pie." Said Greg. Sara stared at him.

"3.14?" She asked.

"Lemon." He corrected, "We need lemon pie." She stared at him for a minute longer before laughing and nodding.

"Lemon pie and vanilla ice cream." She said cheerfully. Greg appeared thoughtful.

"Ice cream I have, pie I don't."

"Go get some then!" Sara ordered as she poked his chest. Greg's goofy grin widened as he kissed her in a long gentle way before pulling away and staring deep into her eyes.

"Yes my queen."

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	4. The Queen's Verdict

**This was supposed to be chapter 3 but i posted them in the wrong order so yeah.. enjoy**

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The Queens Verdict

Flinching at his mother's voice was something Conrad Ecklie was more used to doing over the phone than in person. It had been a full five years since he'd had to endure her screeching soprano in person; he had forgotten how scary it was. Ronnie/Rhonda stared in almost amusement and in partial horror. The woman, whose voice Conrad Ecklie shrank away from, was a tiny little thing. Only brushing five feet in height the tiny little woman wore a hideous black, rose, and lime green dress made of satin. It shimmered dimly in the light like an appalling, wet, tent over her body. Her face had vaguely elfish features and her ears were angular and small. Her hair was steel gray and pulled back into a bun so constricting that it gave her a facelift. She stormed across the dance floor scattering confused CSI's and techs left and right clicking her way to stop in front of her now completely terrified son. She came about halfway up his chest height-wise and that was with three inch high heels adoring her gnarled feet. He shrank away from her like Frankenstein's monster from fire. She glared at him with manic grey eyes that were opened so wide behind her pink sequined horned rimmed glass that she truly looked demented. Her nostrils flared as she admonished her son furiously in front of the entire lab. Gil stared aghast, his mouth slightly open. This was Conrad Ecklie's mother? He made a mental note to refer Ecklie to a psychiatrist friend of his that dealt with traumatized patients. Catherine held tightly to Gil's arm. The tiny little woman was frightening her to no end. Warrick was almost to the point of alcohol poisoning as was Nick. He jabbed Nick in the side and pointed to Ecklie's mother.

"Look... an elf is yelling at Ecklie." He exclaimed giggling. Nick squinted in a desperate attempt to see her.

"Is it one of Santa's elves?" Asked Nick innocently. Warrick stared at him incredulously.

"Santa ain't real man!" He said looking amused and stunned. Nick's face screwed up like he was trying not to cry.

"WHAT!" Nick grabbed the nearest cup of spiked punch and downed it. He stared darkly at the now empty cup.

"Santa is too real." He murmured defiantly. He dropped into a tan fold-out chair along the wall. He glared petulantly out towards the "elf". Hodges, who had been listening in, rolled his eyes and allowed himself to take in the people around the room. As his eyes landed on a beautiful woman about an inch or two shorter than him with shoulder length honey blond hair and a shapely figure, he put his drink down on the table and Nick immediately absconded with it. He strutted over to her laying a few of his best pickup lines on her. Considering that his best pickup lines were from movies like Sixteen Candles it was a huge surprise that she seemed to be buying into it.

Across the room Ecklie's verbal lashing continued and Ronnie/Rhonda was getting sick of it.

"Here you are in your early fifties and yet to get married and have kids you useless failure!!!" Screeched the elf of a woman. Ronnie/Rhonda stormed in front of Conrad at this point and put one hand on his/her hip and the other was waved about for emphasis.

"Will you shut up woman! Your son is an assistant director at the second best crime lab in the country can't you be proud of him?" Ronnie/Rhonda's interference had not been expected and his/her ridiculous height in comparison with Ecklie's mother was obviously leaving the old bitty flabbergasted. Conrad just seemed stunned that somebody had stuck up for him. He also seemed amazed that anybody had the guts to stand up to his mother. Ronnie/Rhonda wasn't done yet though.

"When he finds somebody he wants to marry he'll marry them. You pushing him to it isn't going to make it happen any sooner." That was as far as Ronnie/Rhonda got before Ecklie's mother interrupted.

"As a matter of fact I found him a wife." Ecklie looked petrified. "INGRID!" Shrieked the demon in human guise. The honey blond that Hodges had been flirting with looked up and brushed her hair shyly from her face and excused her self and walked over daintily to Ecklie's mother. Ecklie's jaw dropped in disbelief. Three words went through Gil's mind. Mail order bride. He felt a sudden sharp pain in his foot and he winced as he realized Catherine had just stomped on his foot. He looked at her in a hurt and questioning way.

"Stop drooling Gil." She hissed at him venomously. He raised an eyebrow and moved an arm more securely around Catherine as he leaned to whisper in her ear.

"I wasn't drooling, I was in shock."

"So what are you now?"

"Wondering." He decided to elaborate as Catherine looked ready to stomp his foot again.

"I was wondering why Hodges looks like he wants to kill Ecklie."

"Where should I start with listing reasons?" Catherine asked innocently. Gil smiled.

"Good point." They turned to watch the show as it unfolded.

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	5. A Night To Forget

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A Night to Forget

The honey blond, Ingrid, bent down gracefully and whispered into the elfish woman's ear, before straightening up smiling to Ecklie quickly, turning on her heel with a flip of her hair, grabbing Hodges' arm and pulling him out of the party. Ecklie's mother looked disbelieving and Gil almost burst out laughing.

"She wants the scrawny geek." Ecklie's mother said flatly. The look on Ecklie's countenance was priceless; Gil wished he had a camera. He saw Bobby snap a quick shot and the two grinned at each other. Gil mouthed that he wanted a copy of the picture; Bobby nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Ecklie's mother looked sharply at Ronnie/Rhonda as if it was his/her fault. Ronnie/Rhonda shifted his/her weight to the other foot impatiently.

"If that isn't a sign you need to let Conrad live his own life then I don't know what is!" Ronnie/Rhonda stated bluntly. Grissom felt the strong urge to go snap snap snap with his fingers while moving his head form side to side. Ronnie had become a bigger queen since the last time Gil had seen him. He now walked and talked like an overgrown and petulant Beverly Hills wannabe. The elf cocked her head to one side and glared her beady little eyes, boring them into Ronnie/Rhonda's warm brown ones.

"I'm not leaving here until my boy is married." That did it for Ecklie. He gently moved Ronnie/Rhonda to the side and confronted his mother.

"Well, there doesn't seem to be anybody here willing to marry me! So you're going to be here for a hell of a long time!" She looked around them.

"Well she danced with you." The elf was pointing at Ronnie/Rhonda. Ronnie/Rhonda blushed. He wanted his mother gone as soon as possible, if that meant getting married then so be it. He had nothing to lose, if she said no then his mother had to leave him alone for a while at least. He turned to Ronnie/Rhonda and got down on one knee. Ecklie took Ronnie/Rhonda's hand ever so gently. Gil almost passed out when he realized what Ecklie was about to do. Ecklie looked at Ronnie/Rhonda's shocked face and spoke softly.

"I know we don't even know each other. I know you probably think I'm a complete and utter dolt and jackass like everybody else here does. I know you can do far better than me. But I hope you might be willing to give it the crazy what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas try." Ronnie/Rhonda's eyes welled up with joyful tears and he/she nodded covering his/her mouth with one hand and blushing furiously. Nick fell out of his chair. Warrick began choking on his cup of punch. Gil stared blankly with his jaw down near his ankles. Catherine was clinging to Gil to keep from falling on the floor in disbelief. The elf blinked and gave a curt little nod and a harrumph. She turned around and addressed the room.

"Who here is qualified to marry these two?" Several tentative hands rose, some swayed dangerously. She squinted her beady little eyes. "Who among you is sober enough to marry these two?" Only one hand was still raised. The sheriff meandered over, he was slightly unsteady. Grissom almost died laughing at the sheriff's costume. He'd gone as a catholic priest. Ecklie looked nervously around him. His mother handed him a small black box. It reminded him of death. He opened it half expecting a poison dart to shoot at him; however, it held two golden wedding bands. His mother wasn't going to let him out of this on a mere technicality such as the wedding rings. He quickly walked over to Grissom and ignored the fact that Grissom looked fit to burst out laughing. He nodded nervously at Catherine, who was still hanging onto Gil's sleeve for support.

"Grissom, I have a favor to ask."

"I'm not getting married for you."

"Not asking you too. I want to know if you'll be my best man." Catherine did fall. Warrick finally gave into the alcohol's alluring embrace and slipped into unconsciousness. He figured he'd wake up and find that this had all been a weird antihistamine and alcohol induced dream.

"What?" Grissom asked in disbelief. Ecklie sighed in a frustrated manner.

"Just answer my damn question!" Gil opened his mouth only to be cut off by and angry banshee-like screech.

"CONRAD MERIWETHER ECKLIE! WATCH YOUR GODDAM LANGUAGE YOU LITTLE POTTYMOUTH!" Grissom couldn't even laugh at that. The miserable look on Ecklie's face was almost too much for Grissom.

"Yeah," Grissom muttered, "I'll be your best man." Ecklie nodded gratefully.

And so, Ronnie/Rhonda and Ecklie took their vows in front of the highly inebriated lab and Ecklie's mother and all was well, though, Ecklie was in for a surprise later that night.

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	6. The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

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The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

Catherine was still highly inebriated and giddy by the time she and Gil made it out of the party. They decided to stagger their way to Gil's house, being as his was closer. They were both hiccupping and swaying, hanging onto each other in an effort to stay vertical, the rain had no affect on them. They made the walk to Grissom's townhouse and Grissom struggled to figure out how to open his door. Catherine giggled so hard that she slid down the wall next to the door.

"Hee hee… what about the key?" Gil stared at her for a minute.

"Key?" He asked. She giggled and poked his toga covered leg.

"Key, for the door." It finally dawned on Gil what she was talking about. He spent about five minutes trying to remember where he kept the spare key and failing miserably. He finally pulled out a trick brick in the wall under a window. The simple brass key was revealed. Grissom smirked at it.

"Key!" He declared triumphantly. As he pulled the key out of its hiding place and turned to show Catherine, he swayed dangerously. She giggled madly as Gil fought to right himself. After numerous futile attempts he finally managed to unlock the door and they both fell through it and Gil kicked it shut, blocking out the noise of the rain. Their sodden clothes dripped and soaked into Gil's carpet. Catherine rested her head on Gil's wet shoulder. She was beginning to come out of her alcohol and antihistamine haze as was Gil. Both were still rather giddy and playful.

"You know. I really do love your costume." Gil said softly. She poked him in the stomach again.

"Quite making fun of me, this was Lindsey's idea." She said irritably. He turned over so that he was staring down on her face. His eyes studied hers.

"I'm not making fun of you. I do like your costume. It's symbolic." She turned her head slightly to the side, scrutinizing Gil closely.

"Explain." She ordered sternly. Gil sighed.

"I shall explain in quotes!" He exclaimed suddenly as he had an idea. "The wonderful thing about tiggers is you're the only one!" He sang softly, staring deep into her eyes. She stared at him incredulously.

"That's not the correct quote."

"Poetic license."

"That's a crappy excuse Gil."

"You seem to be buying it." He said. She sighed and looked away and then back.

"Do you really mean it?" He smiled with his secret smile reserved for her alone and nodded. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him down to kiss her and he did. They only made it as far as the couch. They awoke the next morning curled up on Gil's couch with a warm blanket over them and with the embers of the fireplace in Gil's living room dying down. Catherine made it her first mission to figure out where her clothing was, but Gil wrapped his arm around her, holding her and she decided that clothes could wait as she relaxed back into his arms and drifted off to sleep again.

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	7. Hawaiian Blue

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Hawaiian Blue

Sara awoke to the delicious aroma of Greg's favorite coffee. She sat up pulling the sheets around her and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her hair was as messy and crazy as Greg's on an average day. She hadn't seen her hair this insane since finals week when she'd lived on coffee, Chinese take-out, cold pizza, and warm coca-cola. She shook her head as she remembered the night before with a little smile. She was almost surprised to find that she didn't regret any of it. Except maybe the second helping of lemon pie with soft serve vanilla ice cream. A huge platter, laden with coffee, toast, jam, and raisin spice oatmeal waltzed its way into the room and as it descended smoothly onto the bedside table Sara, Greg was revealed to be tousle-haired and grinning like a mad hatter. She smiled at him and pulled him unceremoniously back into bed. The two of them ended up enjoying a luxurious breakfast followed by a shared shower of near two hours length. All the while the leftover coffee simmered pleasantly on the bedside table as the water steamed in the shower.

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	8. Hangovers Are To Be Expected

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Hangovers Are To Be Expected

Grissom waltzed into the lab that night still feeling the last twenty-four hours had been a magnificent dream. He and Catherine had spent the day together simply enjoying each other's company and their newly attained level of closeness. Gil caught a glimpse of a bedraggled Ecklie as he walked in. Gil suddenly wondered how Ecklie's consummation of his marriage had gone. He wondered if he wanted to know. Ecklie didn't look upset, to be honest. His hair, what there was of it, looked like somebody had messed it up. Greg walked by, his hair all over the place as usual. He stopped and looked at Ecklie. He turned to Grissom with an odd look on his face.

"Why does Ecklie have sex hair?" Grissom grimaced. He didn't want to think to deeply about that. He made a mental note to tell Ronnie to get some taste. He left Greg to puzzle it out and wandered off viewing the techs with massive hangovers and spotting a brown paper bag with a body walking around he lifted the bag up to see Nick sporting a pair of dark shades and an icepack.

"Don't ever let me drink again." Nick whispered.

"Ok." Grissom said in a normal voice. Nick winced and as Grissom pulled the bag back down Nick wandered off to find some coffee. Grissom smiled to himself. Besides the hangovers everything seemed to have gone rather well. Brass handed him a stack of folders and Grissom sighed. Crime didn't take a break in Vegas, especially not on Halloween. He wandered towards the break room and his team looked up at him and he smirked at them doling out the assignments with slightly more gusto than normal. It had definitely been a great Halloween party.

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